I've been a little off lately--mostly distracted and a little sad. Although this is my place to tell my tales of navigating through midlife, I'm choosing not to write about this current lull. I never intended this blog to be a therapy page. Rather, it has been a place to practice writing and share, in that writing, tales from my journeys. While I certainly have used this space to vent and share personal stories—all of which are not joyous, I don't want to be a Debbie Downer. I don’t want to develop a habit of dumping my crap and if I did I may as well go to ivillage and find support there. (No offense to any Village people.) Furthermore, I try to choose to be happy, and optimistic. While I like to make people think, and take stock, and all that serious stuff, I also like to make people laugh. I think I like that the most of all. If I can make someone think and laugh in the same post, well then I've really accomplished something good.
So I am willing to share with you where I have been putting some creative energies lately: cooking. I am going through one of those creative phases when I find it is healing to create. I like making nice things among the ugliness; I like to have control over something. Hence, my cooking list grows by the minute and has me craving a snow day despite wanting so very badly for winter to be over. I know I just had a vacation but, really, when else am I going to make the tortilla soup AND corn and crab chowder AND crab wontons AND shepherd's pie?
I just cannot walk by that bowl of tomatoes and garlic--which stands in front of my ginormous utensil crock and next to my yellow bowl of onions (red and yellow) and close by my salt cellar (which, by the way changed my life; it's right up there on the list with my new can opener), and pepper grinders and olive oil (ooh, that would be another nice photo)--without being inspired to either a) take a picture (another creative outlet) or b) think of how I could use them. Or both. Hmmm, is there a recipe on my list that calls for Romas? See?!? As you can imagine, opening a cupboard these days is a fairly frightening proposition.
I could sequester myself for days (as long as I have "provisions," of course); I could do this for a living. I flip through my magazines and cookbooks. A few minutes at a time, I can while away hours and hours plotting, scheming, and making lists of interesting recipes, ingredients, what I have and what I need, what to cook and when to cook it. When eventually I cook it or something else to use the ingredients (because you know I hate to waste) I will for a few minutes feel so very satisfied--before I even eat it. Ta da! There on a (most likely pretty) plate, with or without photographic evidence, is my masterpiece.
Tasting good these days is just a bonus.