Healing Arts

I've been a little off lately--mostly distracted and a little sad. Although this is my place to tell my tales of navigating through midlife, I'm choosing not to write about this current lull. I never intended this blog to be a therapy page. Rather, it has been a place to practice writing and share, in that writing, tales from my journeys. While I certainly have used this space to vent and share personal stories—all of which are not joyous, I don't want to be a Debbie Downer. I don’t want to develop a habit of dumping my crap and if I did I may as well go to ivillage and find support there. (No offense to any Village people.) Furthermore, I try to choose to be happy, and optimistic. While I like to make people think, and take stock, and all that serious stuff, I also like to make people laugh. I think I like that the most of all. If I can make someone think and laugh in the same post, well then I've really accomplished something good.

So I am willing to share with you where I have been putting some creative energies lately: cooking. I am going through one of those creative phases when I find it is healing to create. I like making nice things among the ugliness; I like to have control over something. Hence, my cooking list grows by the minute and has me craving a snow day despite wanting so very badly for winter to be over. I know I just had a vacation but, really, when else am I going to make the tortilla soup AND corn and crab chowder AND crab wontons AND shepherd's pie?

I just cannot walk by that bowl of tomatoes and garlic--which stands in front of my ginormous utensil crock and next to my yellow bowl of onions (red and yellow) and close by my salt cellar (which, by the way changed my life; it's right up there on the list with my new can opener), and pepper grinders and olive oil (ooh, that would be another nice photo)--without being inspired to either a) take a picture (another creative outlet) or b) think of how I could use them. Or both. Hmmm, is there a recipe on my list that calls for Romas? See?!? As you can imagine, opening a cupboard these days is a fairly frightening proposition.

I could sequester myself for days (as long as I have "provisions," of course); I could do this for a living. I flip through my magazines and cookbooks. A few minutes at a time, I can while away hours and hours plotting, scheming, and making lists of interesting recipes, ingredients, what I have and what I need, what to cook and when to cook it. When eventually I cook it or something else to use the ingredients (because you know I hate to waste) I will for a few minutes feel so very satisfied--before I even eat it. Ta da! There on a (most likely pretty) plate, with or without photographic evidence, is my masterpiece.

Tasting good these days is just a bonus.

[Heart] Note...to Coupons

I'm back from Boston and facing the reality of going back to work tomorrow, which meant putting together a grocery list and running a couple of errands today. So while I drank my coffee this morning I looked through the grocery store fliers and made my list. Since one of the supermarkets I patronize is offering three double dollar coupons this week, I also looked through my manufacturers' coupons.

Imagine my delight when I got to the produce section and found some baby arugula marked down as a special today, for less than half the original price. $1.99! Hello?!? So what the best by date is tomorrow? It looked great in the package and I'm sure I can stretch it a day or two longer and use it a couple of different ways in lunch or dinner this week.

But wait! It gets better. I had a $1.00 off coupon and a double dollar coupon with me and that means it would be free!!! In fact, I got a paid a penny to take this off the shelf! Lucky me! Arugula! Free!

I [heart] coupons!

Waiting

Remember a few days ago, at the beginining of the week things when things were looking good, vacation was in front of me and time felt endless...? I thought I'd have all the time in the world to do whatever I wanted, and my schedule would be as flexible as those Olympic figure skaters who can pull their legs over the backs of their heads (while spinning, no less). Yeah, well, not so much. It didn't really work out that way. Yesterday afternoon, when I was sitting waiting for my FedEx delivery, despite my attempt to get an ETA that morning, tense and on edge, I thought, It's Wednesday; vacation is half over and I'm not relaxed! I know, I am fortunate to have a job, lucky to have a week off in February, but vacation was not playing out the way February vacations in the past have.

At 3:30 my phone arrived, I met Amy out for a drink while it charged, and eventually--after my mini-meltdown trying to get my contact list transferred from one phone to the other, at which point I called technical support and thoroughly entertained the poor guy who got my call--decided it would all be okay. I could (should) go to bed knowing all my obligations and commitments were done and I would wake up and get ready to go to Boston and get out of my space and my own way and get to that relaxing.

Time to pack...

Excitement Postponed

I woke up this morning all excited...not because I'd get to write my 200th post (although it is a milestone), not because it was going to be a snowy day (in fact it's what I, and some other teachers, would call a waste of a snow day since we are on vacation), or because I'd get to wear my new boots today, but because my new cell phone would arrive today Fed Ex.

I still don't need my cell phone to fold my laundry or truss a chicken, but the time has certainly come to upgrade under my “new every two” plan. I remind you that I've been using my penultimate phone (it has an antenna) subsequent to last summer’s pool incident and because, well… I’ve become a texter. Hi, my name is Joanne, and I send a lot of text messages. [group replies] Hi, Joanne. Sometimes texting is just faster and easier than a phone call. It could be even faster if I didn’t have to hit a button three times for a single letter to come up on my screen. A full QWERTY keyboard is certainly in order.

On Saturday I went on line and looked at what was available to me—with my eye on those phones that would be free with my upgrade and credit and yada yada. I narrowed my selection to two phones: a Blackberry Curve in smoky violet, and a Samsung Intensity in red, knowing I’d probably go with the latter, since I can’t really justify paying an addition $25 a month for my plan on a Blackberry and don’t need to get emails on my phone. I’m not in sales or on the road a lot; I really just need to talk and text on my phone. Still, the purple is pretty.

Of course when I got to the phone store I find out that both of the phones would be free AFTER my mail-in rebate, and after the initial hard sell of the Blackberry (“I went with a Blackberry and I’ve never looked back”) and an upgraded plan, the sales rep finally caught on that I didn’t want to part with a single cent. Not only did he concur that the Samsung would suit my needs, but he also told me that if I went home and back on line I could get the phone truly free, because the rebates are available instantly on line, and have it in just a couple of days, because they ship using Fed Ex two day. So I did just that. It all worked out perfectly! What are the chances of that?

I woke up thinking Yay, today is the big day! My order was processed on the 13th, and shipped on the 14th, and today is the 16th, right?... Well, on Verizon’s end my order was shipped on the 14th. On Fed Ex’s end it was shipped on the 15th…and so when I got on line and checked with Fed Ex tracking I found out it’s not due until tomorrow by 7pm.

But I have a pedicure appointment tomorrow at 11! And I’m supposed to go out for a late lunch! And if I miss it tomorrow I won’t be home Thursday to get it because I'm going to Boston. So I have to try to do everything today that I wanted to do tomorrow but It’s snowing!

Ugh! Technology!!

Mad for Mexican

Okay, I guess I love more than fish tacos. Lately I've been into Mexican food in general. Not grease laden, deep fried, overly cheesy [insert air quotes] Mexican, but fresh Mexican at home. Jill would say it means I'm ready to move to San Diego, but I think it's just become my new way of healthy cooking for one. Not that I don't [heart] San Diego...

No troughs of food to eat for days on end or to give away so I don't feel guilty for wasting food (thanks, Ma). No gallons of soup to find containers to store and divvy up. (Which does not mean I don't like to share food.) Sometimes it's just easier to cook something quickly for myself, eat, and be done with it.

I can make one or two fish tacos, one or two quesadillas. Quesadillas in particular are a perfect way to combine leftover ingredients with pantry items and fridge (and freezer) staples and the produce I can't walk by in the grocery store without putting in my basket. If I have a beautiful avocado I couldn't resist I can make guacamole; if I don't I do without. No leftover chicken? My quesadillas are vegetarian that night. Those mushrooms starting to go funky in the crisper? I'll throw them right in the saute pan. As for my fish tacos, I prefer the traditional shredded cabbage, but if I only have lettuce on hand, that works fine. And if I don't have a fresh tomato, I can use diced, canned tomatoes in a pinch.

I suppose as with any ethnic cuisine, it utilizes what's fresh and available. Part frugality, part creativity, and no recipe required.

A Day of Rest

I woke up at 8 this morning, with no alarm clock and without a racing mind. No What am I doing today? Am I all set for school this week? Nope. I woke up well rested and relaxed. And I didn't need to decide on an end point to my relaxation mode. I could enjoy the entire day. And night. Today is a Sunday I could really, really rest.

I had already gotten my laundry and errands done on Saturday. My Valentine's Day celebration will happen later this week in Boston. This morning when I woke up I had no obligations but to enjoy the best day of vacation. Just as Friday night is often the best part of my weekend, Sunday night can be the best day of vacation. The weight of a week's worth of obligations and responsibilities is lifted. I call the shots. I feel sane and safe from the stresses of work. The twelve miles that separates me from my job may as well be one thousand. And a time warp.

Every thought I had today about getting out to do something was followed by thoughts of when else I could do it. Well, I could do that tomorrow; my coupon expires Tuesday. And I guess I could do that Tuesday. Or maybe Wednesday. In the end, other than my trip to the gym and pit stop at Big Y on the way home this morning, I have been content to be at home. It's okay that I "wasted a day" --although I don't consider it a waste, but a joy--because I have a whole week ahead of me.

My alarm clock is off, my coffee timer is off and--other than a few things that are weighing pretty heavily on my mind-- I am happy.

Happy is a good place to be.

[Heart] Note...to Fish Tacos

A must for me in San Diego is a fish taco. While I'd prefer to order them, and then eat them in the Pacific Ocean breeze and the California sunsine, making them and eating them at my dining table works too...

Breaded halibut filets (from TJs), shredded cabbage, diced tomatoes, and white sauce in a warm tortilla. So simple.

And fresh. And soft, with a crunch, a little tangy and a touch creamy, hot with cold. All delicious.

I [HEART] FISH TACOS!!!