Slow and Steady Decline

I have had prescription glasses for distance and an astigmatism (note it is not a stigmatism; it's an astigmatism) (ugh. I am so irascible! How do I even have any friends?) since 3rd grade. My vision has never been that bad though, so my glasses have sometimes been more about accessorizing than seeing perfectly. Accordingly, I can still see well enough without glasses, which comes in handy when vanity gets the best of me and they don't match my outfit--even though my current prescription is for...[wait for it]...progressive bifocals. Yes. I became firmly ensconced in my 40s when at 42 my arm was no longer long enough to read nutrition labels and fine print.

Hence, added to my list of rites of passage and hallmark life events--which includes first diet, first menstrual period, driver's license, high school graduation, college graduation, and masters degree (in that order) (and maybe another one or two, not in order)--is failing vision, taking me right from my twenties and thirties (which in my case does not include marriage and childbirth) into middle age.

Following right behind failing vision are stiff joints when I sit for longer than a half hour, the occasional unexpected rumble of thunder while walking (better thunder than hail), waking in the middle of the night to pee, eating Tums like candy, and getting cankles when I fly. I've never seen anything like it. It was frightening, really. I had to sleep with my feet elevated on pillows and take a steady dose of Advil for days after I got back from San Diego!

But it's all good. As I mentioned, better thunder than hail, and what a gift that I still wake before peeing! And maybe most I thank God that I can laugh at this, and for having people in my life who will laugh too...not just at my self-deprecation but because they know what I'm talking about--or someday will.