(Yet Another) Note to (my Stupid) Self

Joanne, Joanne, Joanne.

When did you get so stupid?

What happened to the bright girl—honor roll, Dean’s list—with a healthy dose of common sense to go along with the book smarts? Did you not learn your lesson last time you had a migraine that the accompanying clumsiness can be disastrous? Hello?!?! Remember the nail polish?

Did you think that any good could come from trying to squeeze the be-jeesus out of your tube of tomato paste…while you were cooking with a migraine? While you were wearing a white shirt?

Really?

What’s next? Think you might try licking a metal pole in the winter? Or stick a wet hand in the toaster? Blow dry your hair in the bathtub? Maybe you should put a blind fold on next time you’re dicing an onion with your new Dirty Girl knives.

Or maybe you could just wear your red cotton apron next time you get near the stove. With or without a migraine.

Just sayin’.