Yesterday, when I finished nesting—washing and spinning lettuce, taking stock of my freezer stock—I actually thought about not going out to the pool. I was tired after a weekend spent mostly crying, glued to the TV watching the memorial and funeral service for Ted Kennedy (Rest in Peace), and didn’t want to be bothered to get in my bathing suit and gear up for the pool. So I decided to rest on the couch and ignore the sun that was peeking through my windows after a weekend of mostly rain.
While I dozed, I even fantasized about fall, about getting apple cider plug-ins from Bath and Body, and pumpkin spice scented Yankee candles. Clearly, I had gotten over the assault of the Halloween aisle at CVS, and the idea of autumn had sprouted somewhere in my brain. And I do love fall, especially after a long summer.
Eventually I scolded myself for being so lazy. I mean, come on now, that is award-winning sloth to be too tired to sit by the pool. Or at least to get myself there. I reminded myself that time moves on and the seasons change, and soon enough I will be wishing for a sunny day by the pool. I need to enjoy every moment and make the most of every day, and dreaming about fall from my comfy couch was not the best use of my time.
Especially since there’s no rule about dreaming about fall while sitting by the pool.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Rain
Well, I made it through my first week of school unscathed. I started off on the right foot, gave myself plenty of time in the morning (more than I needed) every morning and didn’t hit snooze once all week. I got a little sun every day after school and finished that book I wanted to finish. And tomorrow it’s supposed to rain. I couldn’t be happier.
Yes, you read correctly. I, Queen of the Pool, am looking forward to the rain.
As much as I love the sun, I have never been one to unequivocally hate the rain. I find it soothing and can enjoy a good, steady rain sometimes. I plan to tomorrow.
A hurricane (maybe only a tropical storm at this point) is coming up the coast and is supposed to deliver some heavy rain tomorrow. This morning, as I sipped my coffee and watched my morning meteorologist talk about it, I got a little excited. I thought of how nice it will be not to feel like I have to hurry off somewhere, not to feel compelled to enjoy the sunshine by my pool. I won’t have to slather myself with lotion and make extra ice, and double check my bag for reading and writing materials. Instead, tomorrow I can listen to the raindrops on my skylight and have an extra cup of coffee, watch Food Network all day and read while I stay cozy under my microfiber throw blanket. It will be a nice change of pace.
Summer is not over and there will be more sun. But tomorrow I am going to take my cue from nature and stay inside.
Yes, you read correctly. I, Queen of the Pool, am looking forward to the rain.
As much as I love the sun, I have never been one to unequivocally hate the rain. I find it soothing and can enjoy a good, steady rain sometimes. I plan to tomorrow.
A hurricane (maybe only a tropical storm at this point) is coming up the coast and is supposed to deliver some heavy rain tomorrow. This morning, as I sipped my coffee and watched my morning meteorologist talk about it, I got a little excited. I thought of how nice it will be not to feel like I have to hurry off somewhere, not to feel compelled to enjoy the sunshine by my pool. I won’t have to slather myself with lotion and make extra ice, and double check my bag for reading and writing materials. Instead, tomorrow I can listen to the raindrops on my skylight and have an extra cup of coffee, watch Food Network all day and read while I stay cozy under my microfiber throw blanket. It will be a nice change of pace.
Summer is not over and there will be more sun. But tomorrow I am going to take my cue from nature and stay inside.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Still Summer
Today the high temperature is predicted to be around 90 degrees, but the dew point has dropped to a more comfortable 62%, "slightly humid" on the scale used by my local news station of choice. Based on the date, and the weather, it is summer. Still. And so I have decided that although I am back to work, back at school as of yesterday preparing for the students' arrival on Thursday, August 27, I will still enjoy summer while it lasts. More importantly, I will make efforts not to let my job wheedle its way into every crevice of my life.
Yesterday I went to the pool for a couple of hours after school and will again today. I read in the late afternoon sun until I got hungry enough to make myself some Caprese salad for dinner. With msnbc in the background I read some more while I sipped some wine. Today I plan on sitting by the pool as well to read some more—my goal being to finish this book by the weekend so that I can attempt another one over the weekend, and get through another one or two by Labor Day.
I do believe it is part of the nature of the beast that is teaching that teachers rarely leave their jobs at work. (And if you do, you feel guilty.) There are papers (and lab reports) to correct, lesson plans that can be revamped, new images that can be downloaded and imported into PowerPoint presentations. But there is also my sanity to maintain, which requires a whole lot of balance for me.
Even when the season changes and I am no longer drawn to the pool like iron filings to a magnet, and instead can’t trade wool crepe fast enough for French terry after school, I will try to maintain balance this year. I will try to write often and read often, and complain less. Yes, there will be nights that I cannot put off lab reports any longer or that I am too tired to do anything but sit with my feet up on the coffee table staring at the TV like post-lobotomy Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, but I will try.
Because I’m not just a teacher. I’m so much more.
Yesterday I went to the pool for a couple of hours after school and will again today. I read in the late afternoon sun until I got hungry enough to make myself some Caprese salad for dinner. With msnbc in the background I read some more while I sipped some wine. Today I plan on sitting by the pool as well to read some more—my goal being to finish this book by the weekend so that I can attempt another one over the weekend, and get through another one or two by Labor Day.
I do believe it is part of the nature of the beast that is teaching that teachers rarely leave their jobs at work. (And if you do, you feel guilty.) There are papers (and lab reports) to correct, lesson plans that can be revamped, new images that can be downloaded and imported into PowerPoint presentations. But there is also my sanity to maintain, which requires a whole lot of balance for me.
Even when the season changes and I am no longer drawn to the pool like iron filings to a magnet, and instead can’t trade wool crepe fast enough for French terry after school, I will try to maintain balance this year. I will try to write often and read often, and complain less. Yes, there will be nights that I cannot put off lab reports any longer or that I am too tired to do anything but sit with my feet up on the coffee table staring at the TV like post-lobotomy Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, but I will try.
Because I’m not just a teacher. I’m so much more.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Poor Parenting
written 8/18
So far my complaint about excessive use of cell phones has centered on the Instant Gratification Generation. (Even though I admitted later to being dependent myself.) Today, it occurred to me, as I sat by the pool (of course) while a mom was talking a mile a minute on her cell—on her second call since arriving at the pool—and her six year old son stood neglected and seeking attention in the shallow end chanting, “sh*t, sh*t, sh*t,” that grown-ups use them too much too. That cell phones have contributed to the downfall of parenting.
Earlier this summer I started (but never finished) a post about how parents shouldn’t take it personally when a kid screws up. Rather than get defensive and take it as a personal affront when a teacher calls to recount an unacceptable event, they should take it for what it is: a reprimand for something the kid did that was wrong. We’re not necessarily calling to say your kid is spawn of the devil, ergo you are Satan. Rather, we’re calling to say your kid screwed up. But you know what? That’s what kids do. They screw up. They‘re trying to find their way and they’re looking for boundaries and I’m doing my part. So often the reaction of a parent says to me, Oh no you don’t! My kid is not a bad person and I am not a bad parent or a bad person. But now I wonder if maybe parents speak in defense of their children who were truly at fault and caught in the act because they failed them to begin with. Maybe it’s the least they can do to keep them out of trouble. Or consequences.
I’m thinking out loud here, not speaking in absolutes, but I wonder if maybe years of being ignored by parents (when, say, they were taking their first strokes across a pool and their moms or dads couldn’t be bothered to put on swim suits and put down their cell phones) led these kids to raising their voices, to misbehaving to have some attention paid to them. Today at least it was so clear to me that this poor boy wanted his mom to pay attention to him, and it took everything for me not to scream, "Get off your cell and in the water!"
I am sorry to say I have seen more poor parenting this summer than Hallmark moments, more parents walking the length of the pool deck rather than splashing along with their kids in swimmies, more empty threats of “one more time and we’re going home!,” than fair but stern discipline and interested involvement.
I know. Who am I? How dare I? I don’t know what it’s like because I’m not a parent. Right? Well I am an intelligent adult and a teacher and aunt and an observer of people who has collected a cache of What Not to Dos/How Not to Parent anecdotes.
Letting my six year old chant SH*T, which draws the attention of the lady with the nice tan reading her book and makes her head spin like Linda Blair in The Exorcist while I’m on the cell phone is one of them.
So far my complaint about excessive use of cell phones has centered on the Instant Gratification Generation. (Even though I admitted later to being dependent myself.) Today, it occurred to me, as I sat by the pool (of course) while a mom was talking a mile a minute on her cell—on her second call since arriving at the pool—and her six year old son stood neglected and seeking attention in the shallow end chanting, “sh*t, sh*t, sh*t,” that grown-ups use them too much too. That cell phones have contributed to the downfall of parenting.
Earlier this summer I started (but never finished) a post about how parents shouldn’t take it personally when a kid screws up. Rather than get defensive and take it as a personal affront when a teacher calls to recount an unacceptable event, they should take it for what it is: a reprimand for something the kid did that was wrong. We’re not necessarily calling to say your kid is spawn of the devil, ergo you are Satan. Rather, we’re calling to say your kid screwed up. But you know what? That’s what kids do. They screw up. They‘re trying to find their way and they’re looking for boundaries and I’m doing my part. So often the reaction of a parent says to me, Oh no you don’t! My kid is not a bad person and I am not a bad parent or a bad person. But now I wonder if maybe parents speak in defense of their children who were truly at fault and caught in the act because they failed them to begin with. Maybe it’s the least they can do to keep them out of trouble. Or consequences.
I’m thinking out loud here, not speaking in absolutes, but I wonder if maybe years of being ignored by parents (when, say, they were taking their first strokes across a pool and their moms or dads couldn’t be bothered to put on swim suits and put down their cell phones) led these kids to raising their voices, to misbehaving to have some attention paid to them. Today at least it was so clear to me that this poor boy wanted his mom to pay attention to him, and it took everything for me not to scream, "Get off your cell and in the water!"
I am sorry to say I have seen more poor parenting this summer than Hallmark moments, more parents walking the length of the pool deck rather than splashing along with their kids in swimmies, more empty threats of “one more time and we’re going home!,” than fair but stern discipline and interested involvement.
I know. Who am I? How dare I? I don’t know what it’s like because I’m not a parent. Right? Well I am an intelligent adult and a teacher and aunt and an observer of people who has collected a cache of What Not to Dos/How Not to Parent anecdotes.
Letting my six year old chant SH*T, which draws the attention of the lady with the nice tan reading her book and makes her head spin like Linda Blair in The Exorcist while I’m on the cell phone is one of them.
By the Grace of God
please don't let me jinx myself...
I have been writing longhand, by the pool or sitting inside, jotting notes everywhere, and as much as it has been a good thing that I have continued to write, it has been frustrating not to be able to transcribe my notes into published posts or Word documents in the evening or first thing in the morning. And even though I knew that I'd really be without a computer for only a week, and maybe I was meant to take a break, it has been awful.
I have been stubborn, trying relentlessly to get my computer working again. I have been rebooting every day, every five minutes when I'm in the mood, never getting enough time to do the things people have recommended: defrag, delete photos, start in safe mode, go to HP Care Advisor, etc etc. I try and my computer freezes before I have a chance to do anything corrective. Or diagnostic even. But I keep rebooting, thinking maybe the problem will go away. (Was it Einstein who said insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result? Yep. Well this week I have been certifiable.) I wondered if it was my wi-fi connection, or my remote mouse. And I thought maybe, if enough people know how devastating this has been, I'll create a powerful prayer circle of a sort with their sympathy and my computer will work again. Well Amen. I believe in miracles. Again. Thank you, God!
Please, please, please let this technology(-less) nightmare be over. And thank you, thank you, thank you to you all for putting that healing energy out there.
Now let me try to catch up on all those things I've been dying to tell you.
I have been writing longhand, by the pool or sitting inside, jotting notes everywhere, and as much as it has been a good thing that I have continued to write, it has been frustrating not to be able to transcribe my notes into published posts or Word documents in the evening or first thing in the morning. And even though I knew that I'd really be without a computer for only a week, and maybe I was meant to take a break, it has been awful.
I have been stubborn, trying relentlessly to get my computer working again. I have been rebooting every day, every five minutes when I'm in the mood, never getting enough time to do the things people have recommended: defrag, delete photos, start in safe mode, go to HP Care Advisor, etc etc. I try and my computer freezes before I have a chance to do anything corrective. Or diagnostic even. But I keep rebooting, thinking maybe the problem will go away. (Was it Einstein who said insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result? Yep. Well this week I have been certifiable.) I wondered if it was my wi-fi connection, or my remote mouse. And I thought maybe, if enough people know how devastating this has been, I'll create a powerful prayer circle of a sort with their sympathy and my computer will work again. Well Amen. I believe in miracles. Again. Thank you, God!
Please, please, please let this technology(-less) nightmare be over. And thank you, thank you, thank you to you all for putting that healing energy out there.
Now let me try to catch up on all those things I've been dying to tell you.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Technical Difficulties
I sat down to write this morning, and my computer kept freezing. I kept rebooting, but no luck. My laptop has been a bit temperamental since I got back from my trip, but today it looks like it bit the dust. Of course I'm hoping it's just in a mood, but I'm afraid it must have some sort of virus that is going to require attention that I can't give it until after I go back to school on the 24th of August. Just when I was on a roll...
Alas, this may be my last summer post (written from my sister's computer). Maybe it's a sign. Maybe I'm supposed not to write for a while, to take a break from everything....Although, in the words of Gloria Steinem, "Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don't feel I should be doing something else."
Please, though, just in case, check back often.
Alas, this may be my last summer post (written from my sister's computer). Maybe it's a sign. Maybe I'm supposed not to write for a while, to take a break from everything....Although, in the words of Gloria Steinem, "Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don't feel I should be doing something else."
Please, though, just in case, check back often.
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