Sunbathing Season

Next weekend my pool opens, beginning the season of sunbathing, an activity I take quite seriously, and at which I am--quite frankly--well practiced. In fact, although I am not paid to do it, I would consider myself a professional sunbather, possessing the commitment, the skill and all the necessary equipment.

Daily sunbathing requires multiple swimsuits, matching cover-ups and towels (also matching), and chair (preferably with wooden arms and a recessed cup holder in one arm)--not too low, nor too high, and with multiple reclining positions. If possible, clashing patterns should be avoided and the canvas of the chair should be in the same color family as the suits, cover ups, towels, and matching bag.

In the matching nylon bag one would find:

• a matching Nalgene beverage bottle for ice water
• a spray bottle (for the first days of the season when the pool is still too cold for a dip)
• multiple suntan lotions, SPF 15 (minimum!) and higher
• a make up bag containing:

a comb

a brush

an elastic hair tie

a hair clip

a small mirror for checking raccoon eyes

make-up wipes for eliminating raccoon eyes

deodorant

• a book
• a journal
• a pen that will not be affected by heat
• a crossword puzzle book
• a Sudoku book
• a magazine

Aside from owning the necessary accoutrement, I am familiar with the pool code of ethics, the most important tenet being do not ever, under any circumstances, interfere with another person's sunbathing. (Hence the deodorant.) And so, even though I shift my chair angle as the sun moves through the sky, I would never infringe upon the space of, or cast a shadow upon, a fellow pool-goer.

At this point you may be thinking Freak! and have an image of the old woman in Something About Mary, or--worse--republican minority leader John Boehner. I do get a nice tan, over time, but I don't turn orange like the aforementioned or the dozen girls in my school who are currently paying to fake-and-bake for the prom. Ever. And while I admit that a nice tan is an important outcome for me (somehow my exposed ankles and arms seem much less offensive when they are tan than when they are pasty, winter white), it's not what sunbathing season is all about.

When I sit by the pool, or at the beach with said accoutrement, I can relax. For hours. No emails, no phone calls, no TV. No papers to correct, no bills to pay, no laundry to sort or fold, no projects to complete. I breathe deeper and think more about things that really matter.

Being a pool fashionista is not one of them.