Crazy Catless Lady

Summer gives me extra time to think, which for me--frankly--can be dangerous. At minimum it is unnecessary. I think enough already. At family get-togethers I think, thank god I don't have to put kids through college. Immediately after I think, but who is going to take care of me when I'm old? Driving down the road, a ballad makes me wonder if I should try on line dating again. Then I remember you can't feel chemistry through a computer, so I laugh and sing along.

And on it goes. Opposite thoughts--positive, negative; hopeful, resigned; serious, lighthearted. Gemini twins battling in my head.

My truths are equally polar.

I still wish to find someone with whom I can spend the rest of my life. Statistically, he will probably come to me divorced and with children. I am both prepared for and okay with that. I have my own history as well: a break-up after seven years that felt part amicable divorce, part mourning. No alimony or custody agreements, but a broken heart nonetheless. I will share with The (Next) One stories of love and learning and loss, and we will grow old together.

But then, as I sit by the pool for the fourth hour, knowing there is a pile of laundry in my bedroom that needs washing and a pile of magazines on the floor by my coffee table that I will continue to walk around for a few more days before I recycle them, I wonder if I am too set in my ways. Can I relinquish my remote every night? I was okay to hand it over on weekends, but every night? Could I give up Chris Matthews? Will I have to start cooking all the time, rather than only when I'm feeling inspired? Will I have to stop using the chair in my bedroom as a closet? What if he wants pets? Oh, dear. I wear way too much black to ever have pets. And I hate vacuuming, Will I end up the crazy cat lady--sans the cats?

Okay, that's enough. Time to swim. And read. And get out of my own head.

My Week in a Word: Relaxing

I have been overheating--part heat, part hormones--a lot this summer. And head sweat is hard to hide. (So much for the professional blow out I had done for Lindsay's wedding. I should have known better.) But finally, this past week, while on vacation in Newport, a day passed that I didn't sweat. It was remarkable. It was a cool, cloudy day, but when I told my sister Liz about it, I couldn't help give credit to how absolutely relaxed I was feeling.

Newport has that effect on me.

My Week in a Word: Hot

And lazy.

We are in the middle of a wicked heat wave here in Connecticut. It's uncomfortably hot and humid. When I'm at the pool I'm in the pool. Sitting in my chair comes with the risk of spontaneously combusting, so I avoid it. When I'm not in the pool, I'm hiding in the air conditioning, but not motivated to do anything productive in the comfort of cool air. Hence the expression about lazy days of summer, right? In fact, wasn't there a song to that effect?

Anyway, one day soon I'm hoping to write a real post or two (I have a dozen topics in the hopper), or to sit down for a length of time to work on something substantial-- but for now I am content to spend my energy keeping cool.

My Week in a Word: Busy

The week started with my father's 77th birthday, and ended with a weekend on the Cape. (Fun!) In between there were house projects and cleaning and shopping, and wishing for better weather.

I'm still wishing for better weather as I start this new week. More so, I am looking forward to Lindsay and Bobby's wedding on Saturday.

My Week in a Word: Summer!

Summer starts for some on Memorial Day, June 21 for others. For those who still weren't in the spirit of Summer time, I hope the 4th of July did the trick.

Hope you had a happy 4th, and that you enjoy the rest of summer!

Photo credit to my niece Meredith. Taken at Old Lyme Shores.